Reasons behind the secret accounts operated by most women surfaced on Wednesday as women in the FCT expressed divergent views on circumstances leading to their action without the knowledge of their spouses or partners.
Some of these women who bared their minds on the development told News Agency of Nigeria (NAN) in Abuja that the reasons for shielding such accounts from their husbands’ ranges from mistrust, fear of separation and behavioural change.
However, some said it was to enable them save money for `rainy day’, as well as to assist their family members without unnecessary confrontation from their husbands or partners.
Mrs Jummai Danladi, a health worker said she does not trust her husband and has no confidence that her marriage would stand the taste of time.
“I do not trust my husband because he cheats on me indiscriminately; his infidelity is affecting our marriage; the marriage may collapse any moment; that is why I am secretly saving for the rainy day.’’
According to her, the money she was saving without his knowledge was to enable her take care of herself and the children when the needs arise.
Meanwhile, Mrs Bunmi Ade, a sales representative said her husband is a spendthrift and mismanages the family’s resources.
“My husband and I have a joint account; but I had to secretly open another one because he squanders the money on frivolities.
“However, when an important or urgent need arises, we end up borrowing to solve it,’’ Ade said.
According to her, she lends him money from her personal savings and collects interest claiming it is from her office cooperative to dissuade him from spending indiscriminately.
Mrs Loveth Chukwuma said her husband’s lack of respect and regard for her and her family led to the non disclosure of her financial status.
“My husband has little regard for my family and rarely attends to its needs even when it is urgent.
“In order to avoid friction, I operate my account without his knowledge and I use my money to cater for my parents and personal needs without bothering him.
Similarly, Mrs Gift Emmanuel, a food vendor said she hides her money from her husband because it was his responsibility to carter for the needs of the family.
“His money, is our money: it is his responsibility to provide everything that will be needed in the house. After all, he promised to do that when I married him.
“It is an irresponsible man that would expect his wife to take care of financial obligation of the family, especially when he is working,’’ Emmanuel said.
Emmanuel explained that her decision not to contribute to the upkeep of the house stems from past experience, where her husband abandoned all the responsibility to her.
“There was a time my husband left all the burden of feeding on me, even though he was working; it crippled my food business.
“It was through the intervention of my brothers and the Church that I recovered and he was advised t be responsive that is why I don’t contribute in the house anymore.’’
On her own part, Mrs Deborah Ezekiel, a development worker said she does not conceal or hide money from her husband because they do not keep secrets.
“We do not hide anything from each other; we share and have access to all our accounts and assets,’’ Ezekiel said.
She explained further that this has strengthened the bond between her and the husband.
Meanwhile, some men are of the opinion that women would never disclose the actual amount of money they have because it was their nature to be secretive over financial issues.
Mr Buchi Eze, a business man said even though it was the responsibility of the man to provide for the family, the wife should also support.
“Although, it is believed that some couple hide money from each other; women are seen to be the greatest culprit in this regard.
“Some would keep their money intact and expect the husband to take sole responsibility of everything even when the husband is not financially buoyant.
“But in some countries, the reverse is the case, whereby you will find women sharing responsibilities with the man because they were brought up to partake in any responsibility irrespective of gender,’’ Eze said.
Similarly, Mr Noah Sarki, a resident said couples who conceal their financial status from each other show they lacked trust and are secretive to each other.
“Regardless of the motivation, concealing financial status from your partner shows an underlying problem within the relationship.
“And I believe trust is the foundation of any peaceful home and how couples handle money will reveal their faith in each other,’’ Sarki said.
He stressed the need for couples to be open to each other in every aspect of their marriage to avoid issues that would culminate into bigger ones, which would affect their home.
According to Mr Emmnuel Deji, a businessman, “I don’t have to ask my wife to support me because when the need arises, she would support without asking.”
However, Deji stressed the need for husbands to treat their wives with understanding, love and respect.
“If you treat your wife right, she will willingly assist with her finances; but if she suspects you of infidelity, lacking trust or love for her, she will definitely hide her money from you,’’ Deji said.
Also, Mrs Patience David, a marriage counselor spoke on the need for couples to be open to each other about everything.
“ Communication is paramount in any relationship and if couples are open to each other without hiding anything, particularly finance, they will not have much problem in their homes.’’
David therefore advised couples and partners to show love, respect and support each other to forestall any problem that might arise in their marriages or relationships. (NAN)