Perspective | Fathers Week: Fathers Get Less Than They Deserve

By Ena Ofugara

For some of us, we continue to refuse for society to continue to take all the credit from the men and push them to depression, suicide, stroke and early death. We will continue to make society see the good in men… good that is taken for granted.

Men will pay school fees for their children and take care of them and their mother and at the end of the day, the music the child will be playing is “sweeeeet mother, I no go forget you, for this suffer wey you suffer for me”. Okay!

Because mommy was often home with the kid and daddy was at work does not make mommy the only one who cares. If daddy is home with mommy carrying kid on his back, mommy and society would call him lazy and a useless man.

The very things the child praises the mommy for eg time spent with them, bathing and cooking, if a father did same without providing money, the society would lambaste the man. Yet would put a woman on a pedestal for same thing.

So for the man, HE NEVER WINS. He goes out to work, the child says mommy loves him the most as she is THERE ALL THE TIME. The man stays home, and is THERE ALL THE TIME and the child grows up and says daddy was lazy. It is for a man to pick his poison cos he will be fed one.

If science and psychology is to be accepted, then we must note that it is not natural instinct for a man to even provide for his family. As mentioned severally, many male species even fight and kill the “children” over food. The KING OF ALL ANIMALS, the LION is the clearest example. He allows the lioness to hunt while he sleeps all day. And when she brings food, he takes THE LION SHARE and kills whatever cub dares eat from the meat while he is still hungry. In fact, when he sees that a male cub is spending too much time with his lioness “wife” or one of the lionesses he wants to make love to in the pride, HE KILLS THE CUB. That is the instinct of many other animals.

But fathers sacrifice their wife’s hitherto firm breasts to be used for suckling and inevitable flaccidity that follows. No child is killed over it unlike the lion

Yes! With MAN, essentially same male anatomy as other animals, man as a FATHER has learnt to control the BASER INSTINCTS of simply depositing sperm and walking away. He has learnt to stay with the female, support her, carry the child, provide and protect as few other male creatures do.

So now, considering that all the love women show to their babies is done by the hen and monkeys and dogs and goats and hyena and hippopotamus etc etc etc but what a man does as a FATHER is unique to the human race, SHOULD MEN who rise up to support their family NOT GET MORE ACCOLADES? Developed societies even ensure a man can go to jail if he does not provide for his children. Your salary will be garnished and as much as forty five percent of what the man earns will be taken from him and given to his children, depending on the number he fathered. Even in undeveloped society like Nigeria, no man dares come and drink beer with his mates without receiving some insults when he fails to provide. Some even face the disgrace of the child’s bride price being collected by the mother, thereby declaring the man’s child A BASTARD.

My point is, men have overtime gotten less than they deserve from society and their children as fathers. Provision is made second class when it is the father doing it but everything when it is the mother. Love and care by a father is made unimportant when not followed by monetary provision but love and care only is enough when it is from the woman.

And most painfully, when a man does the duty society has bestowed on him by providing monetarily for the family, and when the woman does her NORMAL ANIMALISTIC INSTINCT OF CARE for the child, it is the mother the songs will be about… “Sweet mother, I no go forget you for the suffer wey you suffer for me ehhh ehh. If I no sleep my mother no go sleeep.. sweet mother…” Few words will be said of daddy working the streets to bring home the bacon.

Fathers get less than they deserve. And it is not alright at all. With feminism and all that nonsense movements that aim to reduce the man and all he does, It is not alright anymore!!!

Ena Ofugara is a political strategist & analyst, as well as a social advocate.